Dear readers,

Am just back from la belle France, where I spoke beaucoup de (lousy) French and had beaucoup de meals tres yummy. (Am now embarkee upon un diet seriouse).

Je must apologise to said French pour saying que they were tout le temps les pests. Au contraire, les Francais dans Normandie est tres charmant est aussi their munchies est tres brilliante. C'est vrai that beaucoup des Frogs need to achetez plus de deoderant, malheuresment, mais their character is (outside of Paris, obviousment) tres bien. (It is aussi vrai that the Francaise considere le jour mal-spent when ils ne cook pas les pauvre, defenseless petite snails -- ou 'escargots' -- et aussi les petite froglets, mais they will presumably grow out of ca at some pointe, j'espere.)

Les people de Normandie were tres genereuse de moi, ma spouse et aussi ma fille, particularment quand nous attemptons to parler en francais. (Actualment, ma spouse parler tres bien, et ma fille sports une belle accent, so it was seulement mois qui etait le trial.)

In addition, nous spotted les photos de ma much-loved grand-pere, qui was le important general in charge of le 101st Airborne Division dans le D-Day dans beaucoup de musees. (At chaque museum, ma fille moaned more et aussi more, so nous didn't check out toute les musees, however.) Le seule point que my fille was interesse in was in said grand-pere (in her case, le great grand-pere). Beyond ca, elle would easily give toute les musees a miss, frankly.

Alors, apres je depart, c'est crucial que je put in the good word pour une certaine restaurante which was tres fantastique, jusqua le Cathedrale de Bayeux, which was called La Pomme d'Aure, and which I cannot recommend suffit! C'est fantastique!!!!!!!!

(The accents have thoughtfully been omitted, so as not to confuse those English speakers who don't mess about with any. I mean, quel waste du temps!!!!!!)

Cordialement,
Aleeeeeeeeeeeece

Dear Alice,

I'm about to go to university. Have you any advice?


Nervous in Vermont (female)

Dear Nervy (I love Vermont!!!!!! Alice),

1. Be yourself. If people don't like it, they can just bloody well miss out.
2. Work hard. You only get one shot at college.
3. Don't take philosophy too seriously. (Theology yes. Psychology yes.)
4. Never neglect your body to feed your mind. Eat enough. Don't drink too much. (Forget drugs altogether.)
5. Any guy worth knowing is worth knowing for his soul and not his appearance.
6. Friendship is the glue that holds life together.
7. If you find something easy, pay attention. This is God's way of saying 'This is hard for most people but easy for you. I sent you for this.'

Good luck!!!!!!,
Alice