I have to agree with Frank about clarinetists and anti-social behavior! After a recent quartet concert, the performers, plus their friends in the audience (a cellist, a conductor, a violinist, and a couple of pianists including me) all went out afterwards. The conductor even gave us rides home -- he is nice because he is also a violist. The only one who attended the concert, but didn't join us for drinks was the clarinetist. The sad thing is that this clarinetist often expressed desire for a musical community, but pushes those in the community away once he finds them. Of course, I have definite opinions because he is my ex-boyfriend and ex-musical collaborator (in that order). My advice is don't marry the clarinetist. p.s. I must also add that my most fabulous girlfriend was once a clarinetist but has seen the light and switched to the cello.

Sincerely,
no longer playing Weber

Dear No-longer-playing-Weber,

Thanks for your letter and congrats to your most fabulous girlfriend, whose has in my opinion made A Good Move!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yours cellistically,
Alice

Dear Alice,
Missed your column today, same as last week. What happened?
A fan

Dear fan (prob my mother)

Well, for those of you who missed The Occasion of the Year, the headache from which is still faintly with me, Si and I had our 25th wedding anniversary on Tuesday night, and ten points to the brill Joe Townsend jazz trio, who were fab. Anyway, column no could do under these circs, which included being cello soloist for Christmas concert prior to party, hall decorator in chief, caterer organizer, jazz trio looker-afterer, and champagne-drinker-too-mucher.

However, in philosophic (otherwise known as hungover) mood, I submit these pearls of wisdom, to those of you hoping to make your own silver wedding anniversary someday:

1. Never take offense where no offense was meant.
   (If it WAS meant, give 'em hell).
2. Never fall asleep before finishing an argument.
3. If in doubt, forgive.
4. If not in doubt, also forgive. (After all, what makes you think YOU'RE so bloody perfect???)
5. Give up on trying to change your spouse. People don't change; they are hard-wired by genetics. Just be grateful your innate good taste led you to a good one.
6. If your innate good taste let you down, then bugger off.

Right, due to pounding head, that's all I have time for, except to say that, among the many advantages of sticking it out for two decades and a half, the best of all is that you have your set disputes down so pat that you can enjoy the following dialogue:

You: Right. That really annoys me!!!
Him: And THAT really annoys ME!!!!
You: Argument number four?
Him: Definitely.
(Silence as both of you recall, point by point, argument number 4).

Him: Finished?
You: Yep.
Him: Walk the dogs?
You: Okey dokey.

Yours from a mature and stable viewpoint (stop laughing you bastards)
Alice