Dear Alice,

You thought he was such a nice man, didn't you? Called up to apologise for the nice Isle of Wight piano tuner, too old to make the trip? Said he was from Petts Wood, pleasant manner, agreeable voice.

So you booked him to tune the piano, apologising for the length of time it had been since it had been tuned. And the so-nice piano tuner opened up the piano and ...

MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

For there I was — or rather, not I but my mark, for I chewed halfway through some keys, the first four notes of the Dies Irae, in fact!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yes, I, Manolos, world's greatest mouse, I have returned!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You thought you had gotten rid of me — this was not the case — I surfaced in your house in Crete — I, Manolos!!! — and now you learn that I am resurrected, yes, I Manolos, the eternal, the greatest, the immortal mouse!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You will never escape me. I will haunt every house you buy — yes, even the house you contemplate buying for your daughter — you will never be rid of me.

MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Your nemesis,
Manolos

Dear Manolos,

Can't you just piss off and die?

Alice

Dear Alice,

No!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! For I am the great, the incomparable, the one and only MANOLOS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I nibble the piano keys ... I taste the morsel of felt YUM YUM YUM ... You will never know when next I will appear ... for I am ...

[Keith-the-editor: You've done this bit already, mouse!]

Dear Keith, and you are 'dear' for it is you who named me!!!!

... for I am MANOLOS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!